Read all through and I can’t help but be amazed by how gentle your words are whilst guiding the reader with a fatherly tone…
For anyone reading this, you should share this article to any lady/ladies you have on your radar for marriage.
This can very well serve as a pretty accurate litmus test of character, how high she regards you, and how much she values you—for a plethora of reasons…
If she actually reads all through this piece, at the baseline, she’s far better than a substantial margin of the world’s population, because it would mean her attention span isn’t fried at least, and that she’s capable of reading long “boring” pieces that do not not usually appeal to the larger female audience. This is the first indication that sets her apart, and above others.
Next, her reading all through, because *you* sent it to her, makes her a strong candidate for the spousal position. This gesture of hers points to the fact that she values anything that comes from you. She holds precious the idea that you thought of her when you came across this. She immerses herself in this piece not just for the words of wisdom embedded within, but also for the very reason that it came from you.
If after reading the article, she comes to you to discuss her understanding, or asks to clarify her confusion with further nuances, you might as well marry her the next Sunday.
This is not hyperbole. I can’t begin to go into why this is the crowning act of it all.
Picture this; She comes to you to discuss the article you shared with her earlier—for whatever reasons, be it her not understanding certain paragraphs or simply for the sake of wanting to hear your own ideas. She breaches the topic, creating an atmosphere for conversation, waiting eagerly for your words to find their way to her ears and lodge themselves in a safe and uncluttered part of her memory.
It would mean she holds you with high regards. She wants to connect with you at a level that’s more than just physical. She is willing to learn—not just from anyone, but from you in particular. It would be a sign of how much she wants to devote herself to you.
Share the piece above with her, and from her subsequent actions/reactions, you can glean where she stands with you, as well as where you stand with her.
Obviously, this is not absolute. But then again, nothing ever is.
Beautiful, IM. Hopefully you would write a book on raising a daughter, which is much more prescriptive. Or a book that helps women to navigate the world. RooshV's lady is a good one, but I think you can truly fill the void on that.
Women often villainize men who positively challenge them and compel them to grow as ‘toxic,’ while they giggle with those who don’t truly care about them and only want to enjoy their company, engage in idle talk, and flirt. This is the tragedy of ‘going by the feelz’ that many women find themselves trapped in.
My comment is not meant to be condescending or a criticism of women. It is my paternal lament over being misunderstood and not being seen. It's heartbreaking.
God knows how much I have searched for the right things to say when I want to describe a woman I would like to be with...
Discovered most women around me are not self aware and when they are they are not putting in the work to be better. I started to even think it's just Africans. It is well.
Thanks for this. I believe most women will self-destruct once in their life. I really wish I could send this beautiful piece to this girl, but yea, women will always be women
I’m dating a girl with border line personality disorder and I feel like all girls have some kind of bpd ? But the bpd girl is a like a women 10 times ten with the volatility
The short answer is that Borderline is the far end of the spectrum of femininity, at a pathological level. Healthy women demonstrate milder aspects of BPD traits at much lower frequency and intensity.
I've yet to meet a woman (at least those single past a certain age), who didn't present with some sort of mental instability be it depression, anxiety, bpd, etc.
This is quite simply because they are the more neurotic sex, and did not evolve for independence/autonomy. It is a very rare type of woman who can be high functioning and single for the entirety of her life. Most of them require a man to help stabilise their emotions and give them a sense of safety and order (and I don't think there is anything wrong with this, like, it's not a point of shame - it's a natural part of the complementary nature of the sexes - giving each other what the other needs).
For some, this need is more extreme than others - especially at the lower functioning end, and that can actually be quite unpleasant and insufferable for a man. Some women are dysfunctional to the point no man should be subjected to them.
But on the more "normal end" of this need - it is simply being an active presence that provides structure and assurances - just like a parent would for a child. Truly, it is no different. Schopenhauer said women are "half-adult" or "somewhere between a child and a man" - now to most modern people this reads as condescending or insulting, but I do not think it was intended in that way - I think he means truly in terms of emotional stability. In that sense, it makes perfect sense.
Men doing their jobs properly provide structure and order and safety for women. Women in return provide warmth and inspiration and comfort (that a man otherwise quite frankly will not get anywhere else) this is the very barebones of the dynamic. But it's the very structure of the safety you generate that allows her to lean into her feminine like that.
No wonder then most single women, especially past a certain age (no longer under the watchful eye and guidance of parents) is mentally unstable. If you understand female psychology deeply enough, you would realise it would be weird if they weren't, as in, we'd have ourselves a woman with extremely low neuroticism and internal emotional needs coupled with high executive functioning - this is highly atypical of the feminine - extreme outlier behaviour.
IM, I agree with you completely and do understand the psychological aspect of it.
In another article, you mentioned men falling for the idea that women aren't worth it, or that society is convincing men that finding a suitable spouse isn't worth the effort.
How do you reconcile the fact that past a certain age, most single women will present with mental/emotional instability but still be worth pursuing? I'm 35 looking for a "worthy" spouse to start a family with but 99.9% of the women I meet within the age bracket that is most accessible to me (late 20s to mid 30s) are incredibly psychlogically compromised. It's to the point where, to me, the time/energy/effort just doesn't seem worth it. But I also don't want to die alone and not leave a legacy.
Your thoughts on reconciling the two would be very much appreciated.
The solution to your problem is a woman who has never had a boyfriend before aged 18-23. 25 at an absolute push (this is suboptimal, but still viable). The reason I give this age range is due to inexperience, uncrystallised identity (she is shapeable) and elevated pair bond attachment capacity - factors which all increase the quality of your relationship/love and the probability it will see the distance.
This is something of a "taboo" answer that will cause a lot of controversy in mainstream circles, but it is the correct/truthful/helpful solution to your question. You need an age gap marriage with a woman who can meet your needs (intact moral and sexual purity). I will write an essay on this at some point going into more comprehensive detail - making the argument for it, outlining the structural reasons/advantages etc.
Most women around your age (when you're in your 30's) will be damaged/resentful/still in love with some guy from their past and just trying to use you for financial security. They cannot give you what you require.
I agree with you 100% about everything you have said but realistically, as a 35 year old man, what are the odds of finding an 18-23 year old woman that is okay with that large of an age gap relationship? And does one just hold out indefinitely until they find someone within that age bracket?
Many women are interested in this (because greater age, at least up until a certain point = more dominant/spiritually developed), they just don't shout it out from the rooftops because they realise western society looks down upon and stigmatises it, despite it being quite literally the crosscultural historic norm.
As for whether you can achieve it? That depends on the kind of man that you are.
To put it in a very simple way, if you are shadow integrated and embody numerous Jungian masculine archetypes, then yes, it is highly possible, in fact, you will possess many structural advantages relative to her peers - who she will find insufficiently compelling. If this doesn't sound like you, then it's not possible and you have to work more on yourself until it is because there's quite literally no other viable option for you.
Higher IQ women have more complex symbolic/spiritual needs and a richer internal cosmology than lower IQ women, so they in particular will be more compatible with, and receptive to this.
About 20% of women will seek and enjoy a relationship with a large age gap, assuming the man is attractive and dominant enough. That's what they're looking for.
About 50% are open to trying such a relationship. It may or may not be what they enjoy long term, though. Comes down to the dynamic between the two of you, what she wants from life, her family and peer group, stuff like that.
About 30% don't want it and won't try it. Filter those out immediately.
Read all through and I can’t help but be amazed by how gentle your words are whilst guiding the reader with a fatherly tone…
For anyone reading this, you should share this article to any lady/ladies you have on your radar for marriage.
This can very well serve as a pretty accurate litmus test of character, how high she regards you, and how much she values you—for a plethora of reasons…
If she actually reads all through this piece, at the baseline, she’s far better than a substantial margin of the world’s population, because it would mean her attention span isn’t fried at least, and that she’s capable of reading long “boring” pieces that do not not usually appeal to the larger female audience. This is the first indication that sets her apart, and above others.
Next, her reading all through, because *you* sent it to her, makes her a strong candidate for the spousal position. This gesture of hers points to the fact that she values anything that comes from you. She holds precious the idea that you thought of her when you came across this. She immerses herself in this piece not just for the words of wisdom embedded within, but also for the very reason that it came from you.
If after reading the article, she comes to you to discuss her understanding, or asks to clarify her confusion with further nuances, you might as well marry her the next Sunday.
This is not hyperbole. I can’t begin to go into why this is the crowning act of it all.
Picture this; She comes to you to discuss the article you shared with her earlier—for whatever reasons, be it her not understanding certain paragraphs or simply for the sake of wanting to hear your own ideas. She breaches the topic, creating an atmosphere for conversation, waiting eagerly for your words to find their way to her ears and lodge themselves in a safe and uncluttered part of her memory.
It would mean she holds you with high regards. She wants to connect with you at a level that’s more than just physical. She is willing to learn—not just from anyone, but from you in particular. It would be a sign of how much she wants to devote herself to you.
Share the piece above with her, and from her subsequent actions/reactions, you can glean where she stands with you, as well as where you stand with her.
Obviously, this is not absolute. But then again, nothing ever is.
Beautiful, IM. Hopefully you would write a book on raising a daughter, which is much more prescriptive. Or a book that helps women to navigate the world. RooshV's lady is a good one, but I think you can truly fill the void on that.
Women often villainize men who positively challenge them and compel them to grow as ‘toxic,’ while they giggle with those who don’t truly care about them and only want to enjoy their company, engage in idle talk, and flirt. This is the tragedy of ‘going by the feelz’ that many women find themselves trapped in.
My comment is not meant to be condescending or a criticism of women. It is my paternal lament over being misunderstood and not being seen. It's heartbreaking.
Awesome!
Sooo when are you adopting me?
God knows how much I have searched for the right things to say when I want to describe a woman I would like to be with...
Discovered most women around me are not self aware and when they are they are not putting in the work to be better. I started to even think it's just Africans. It is well.
I think you should write a book tho.
Thank you for this. I will share with everyone.
Thanks for this. I believe most women will self-destruct once in their life. I really wish I could send this beautiful piece to this girl, but yea, women will always be women
I’m dating a girl with border line personality disorder and I feel like all girls have some kind of bpd ? But the bpd girl is a like a women 10 times ten with the volatility
The short answer is that Borderline is the far end of the spectrum of femininity, at a pathological level. Healthy women demonstrate milder aspects of BPD traits at much lower frequency and intensity.
I wrote about dating women with BPD here:
https://jakebullet.substack.com/p/fatal-attraction-dating-women-with-bpd
I've yet to meet a woman (at least those single past a certain age), who didn't present with some sort of mental instability be it depression, anxiety, bpd, etc.
This is quite simply because they are the more neurotic sex, and did not evolve for independence/autonomy. It is a very rare type of woman who can be high functioning and single for the entirety of her life. Most of them require a man to help stabilise their emotions and give them a sense of safety and order (and I don't think there is anything wrong with this, like, it's not a point of shame - it's a natural part of the complementary nature of the sexes - giving each other what the other needs).
For some, this need is more extreme than others - especially at the lower functioning end, and that can actually be quite unpleasant and insufferable for a man. Some women are dysfunctional to the point no man should be subjected to them.
But on the more "normal end" of this need - it is simply being an active presence that provides structure and assurances - just like a parent would for a child. Truly, it is no different. Schopenhauer said women are "half-adult" or "somewhere between a child and a man" - now to most modern people this reads as condescending or insulting, but I do not think it was intended in that way - I think he means truly in terms of emotional stability. In that sense, it makes perfect sense.
Men doing their jobs properly provide structure and order and safety for women. Women in return provide warmth and inspiration and comfort (that a man otherwise quite frankly will not get anywhere else) this is the very barebones of the dynamic. But it's the very structure of the safety you generate that allows her to lean into her feminine like that.
No wonder then most single women, especially past a certain age (no longer under the watchful eye and guidance of parents) is mentally unstable. If you understand female psychology deeply enough, you would realise it would be weird if they weren't, as in, we'd have ourselves a woman with extremely low neuroticism and internal emotional needs coupled with high executive functioning - this is highly atypical of the feminine - extreme outlier behaviour.
IM, I agree with you completely and do understand the psychological aspect of it.
In another article, you mentioned men falling for the idea that women aren't worth it, or that society is convincing men that finding a suitable spouse isn't worth the effort.
How do you reconcile the fact that past a certain age, most single women will present with mental/emotional instability but still be worth pursuing? I'm 35 looking for a "worthy" spouse to start a family with but 99.9% of the women I meet within the age bracket that is most accessible to me (late 20s to mid 30s) are incredibly psychlogically compromised. It's to the point where, to me, the time/energy/effort just doesn't seem worth it. But I also don't want to die alone and not leave a legacy.
Your thoughts on reconciling the two would be very much appreciated.
The solution to your problem is a woman who has never had a boyfriend before aged 18-23. 25 at an absolute push (this is suboptimal, but still viable). The reason I give this age range is due to inexperience, uncrystallised identity (she is shapeable) and elevated pair bond attachment capacity - factors which all increase the quality of your relationship/love and the probability it will see the distance.
This is something of a "taboo" answer that will cause a lot of controversy in mainstream circles, but it is the correct/truthful/helpful solution to your question. You need an age gap marriage with a woman who can meet your needs (intact moral and sexual purity). I will write an essay on this at some point going into more comprehensive detail - making the argument for it, outlining the structural reasons/advantages etc.
Most women around your age (when you're in your 30's) will be damaged/resentful/still in love with some guy from their past and just trying to use you for financial security. They cannot give you what you require.
I agree with you 100% about everything you have said but realistically, as a 35 year old man, what are the odds of finding an 18-23 year old woman that is okay with that large of an age gap relationship? And does one just hold out indefinitely until they find someone within that age bracket?
Many women are interested in this (because greater age, at least up until a certain point = more dominant/spiritually developed), they just don't shout it out from the rooftops because they realise western society looks down upon and stigmatises it, despite it being quite literally the crosscultural historic norm.
As for whether you can achieve it? That depends on the kind of man that you are.
To put it in a very simple way, if you are shadow integrated and embody numerous Jungian masculine archetypes, then yes, it is highly possible, in fact, you will possess many structural advantages relative to her peers - who she will find insufficiently compelling. If this doesn't sound like you, then it's not possible and you have to work more on yourself until it is because there's quite literally no other viable option for you.
Higher IQ women have more complex symbolic/spiritual needs and a richer internal cosmology than lower IQ women, so they in particular will be more compatible with, and receptive to this.
Very roughly:
About 20% of women will seek and enjoy a relationship with a large age gap, assuming the man is attractive and dominant enough. That's what they're looking for.
About 50% are open to trying such a relationship. It may or may not be what they enjoy long term, though. Comes down to the dynamic between the two of you, what she wants from life, her family and peer group, stuff like that.
About 30% don't want it and won't try it. Filter those out immediately.
Yeah same here it’s like wtf is going on
Observation, combined with an analytical mind that recognises patterns where there is, and where there seemingly isn't.
Then using gotten insights to overlay, and further enhance your maps of reality.