A Letter To My Daughter

A Daughter’s Guide to Sovereignty

“The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.”

— Proverbs 14:1

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Women need to speedrun wisdom out of the gate (from like age 15) - and preferably without getting wrecked (romantically/sexually) in the process - this is very hard, but doable.

You must accept you are naturally retarded, and that if you make too many mistakes, you will become ego invested in being retarded to the point your already very fragile mental health (under the most optimal and fluffy conditions) is contingent on endless self affirmations and feel good self-beautification just to retain a baseline level of functioning, which makes you mentally weak and not good for much, because you will spend far too much time being fragile and self-indulgent.

This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t ever get to do cute things or embrace your soft or gentler side or anything like that, so do not think I am telling you to kill your soul, because I am not and I never would - but it does mean you should recognise pampering for what it is - an occasional indulgence rooted in self-love, rather than a way of living rooted in fragile cope.

To be pampered, constantly, and always is to make yourself weak. You will become intolerant of anything that challenges you, or any "vibe" that isn't warm or soft or fluffy - and you'll say "it's negative energy" and think that alone is sufficient basis for dismissal without truly evaluating the thing because it hurts too much for you to even parse it, and yet the world is not only positive energy. You should avoid that which is negatively unproductive, yes, but you must also know what negativity is productive and be able to transmute it into something beneficial.

But how will you tell the difference? Discernment. And how do you acquire discernment? Like any muscle, through training - by putting yourself in situations and scenarios that expose you to things that force you to observe and make choices. You must be near danger, without becoming the victim of it so that you can learn from it. And the smarter you are, the faster you can build up your pattern set (wisdom) to consistently derive the correct inferences.

You cannot be so fragile, that you are intolerant of, and unwilling to handle any negative energy. Ultimately, as much as you want to be a child, and do indeed have the luxury of being one sometimes, you must also know how not to be one. You must be willing to be a woman, if you want to be brilliant enough to find a man who finds you worthy enough to carve out the freedom and beauty for you to let you frolic as a girl once more.

And look at the older women. The ones who married men you wouldn't want to end up with, or who didn't marry at all. Look at how they cope and behave - the ones who have clearly messed up in this life, and so have nothing but their egos to nurse in the licking of their salty wounds. Do you want to end up like them? Or do you actually want to be keep a warm heart, living a beautiful life with a respectable man? If you want the ideal life with the ideal man, then you mustn’t waste the great bounty of beauty, fertility and natural feminine warmth nature has given you - you need to speedrun wisdom.

You need to become wise enough and harden just enough to protect yourself, but not so much that you lose yourself. When I say harden I don't mean calcify and make the warmth frozen, I mean add a tough outer shell to protect the fluffy inner core. It is a tough balance to strike, but you can do it if you make it your priority, and apply yourself to the task rigorously with consistency.

You need to speedrun wisdom because you need discernment, because as much as your father or uncles or anyone else close to you may love you, it is still important you know how to protect yourself.

You must refine your judgement. You cannot be a liability your whole life, forever reliant upon the judgement of others. You, as a woman, to be worth anything as a woman - and to actually be meaningfully respectable (rather than just desirable, because for men these things are separate) need to become sovereign.

This doesn't mean you cannot or should not seek advice from your father or any other man you trust (and there shouldn't be many), but it does mean you need to be able to consistently make sound, well informed, clarity driven decisions. You should not get into the habit of deluding yourself - and you should get into the habit of being rigorously honest with yourself, even when it hurts. You shouldn't always have to think for yourself, and you should be able to defer to the central male figure in your life when you wish to, but you should also have the capacity to decide for yourself when you need to, when he isn't there, and you're the only one in the room who has your best interest at heart.

You must be able to truly be a good judge of character. And I don’t just mean “going by the vibes”, I mean actually be able to infer things accurately based upon what is and isn't said, and what is and isn't done - an omission should inform you just as much as an addition - you should be good at pattern recognising, because you can't afford not to be.

You must be both intuitive and analytical, and you must be careful not to mislabel your emotional whims as intuitions and spiritualise them, when really you are just being self-indulgent. Spirituality is real, but so is pseudo-spirituality - and it's very easy to cross into the latter believing you’re in the former. Ensure you are grounded in a set of values - self-honesty is painful, but the only true and noble path - and your capacity to master this and forge honour from it by disciplining yourself accordingly will distinguish you greatly from your would be competitors, that is - the women who are your peers.

You should strive to hold yourself accountable for your actions, and you should know shame, and you should be mindful to ensure you don’t let others weaponise the honour of that shame when they themselves are deficient in it. Being a woman isn’t easy. You are being endlessly sabotaged by people around you all the time, and if you’re pretty, and it will be your priority to be (because you realise it is your main source of power despite its own traps and pitfalls), most men want nothing but to penetrate the hole between your legs, whilst most women only want to sabotage you in competition for the few viable men you both seek.

You as a woman must be a fortress. You must know how to conceal your emotions (and get good at it), because you treat them as sacred, and realise they can be used as levers to manipulate you against your best interest. Ensure you share them minimally with none but those you love and trust, for being frivolously expressive with them and spilling them out everywhere for all to see will only bring you preventable and unproductive harm. Imperative too is being able to evaluate the world around you, without killing the warm, soft depth of your rich and vibrant inner world. You must know how to accurately discern things, people and situations, without becoming cynical. In essence, you must be something of a contradiction - but in a high functioning and beautiful way, rather than in a fragmented and dysfunctional one.

Be sensitive and worship beauty so you are empathetic and attuned to subtlety and nuance, but likewise difficult to offend and analytical so that you may be robust and penetrating. You must take what is best about the masculine, and add it to yourself. You must speedrun wisdom, become strong, and become sovereign - manage this, manage to avoid the pitfalls almost all other women make (which would almost certainly include ignoring the very insights of the man writing this letter that could quite possibly change your life in the best of ways), and the things they can only dream of and will forever lament can be yours. You can live a life that they envy, if only you put the work in and truly apply yourself - not because you want to rub it in their faces - but because you want better for yourself.

After all my dear, if you want what others cannot have, you must do what others cannot do.

Are you going to *truly* be the exception and become exceptional? Are you going to put in the work and diverge from the gaggling sisterhood and become sovereign in your own capacities - or are you going to say you're not like the other women as most women do, when in actual fact, you very much are. Do you truly want to be special, truly be different, truly be worthy - and for it all to just not be words and shallow performance?

Then acquire discernment and become a fortress whilst preserving your inner warmth - you must speedrun wisdom, my daughter.

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